Maybe you noticed that i started counting down from April 4th 2009. When it comes to zero, April 14th 2009, it means two special moments for me. First, there will be zero days left for me to revise my thesis before ‘the judgment day’. Thanks God for this. Alhamdulillah. I always think that this is an everlasting work; i found no way to complete. The more i read the more i was confused. What was I supposed to do?
More than a year ago, i brought an idea about health economy evaluation of workplace cardiovascular screening. It was so much compulsive idea that i had. I had almost no clue about updated cardiovascular disease or about the sophisticated screening tools. I will not say that i know about occupational health and just a bit about health economy evaluation. Oh My! But thanks for mr. Timothy for inventing our beloved www (world wide web). Thanks for Umea Library for generosity so i could access almost unlimited journals throughout the world. I got abundant information but unfortunately my poor brain couldn’t work faster. Anyhow, i can tackle this problem. I am also very grateful to my Professor, Lars Lindholm, for not rushing me to finish it.
Recently, i just realized who the most important person was behind. His name is Abdul Kodir. I knew him from the very beginning of my life. He is my late Father, my beloved one. And today is the day when he passed away two years ago. It was only 2 weeks before i got the announcement of getting scholarship from SI, Swedish Institute. I got it just few days after i whispered to me myself,”I give my dreams up, father”. It seemed that he wanted me to pursue my dreams. I keep moving on till today because i have him in my heart.
Flash back to the last days of him.
He ever told me, “I apologized to my colleagues for smoking and harming their health”.
It was full of sorrows and regrets. I knew how hard he tried to strive and fight against his diseases from this sentence the most. He suffered CVD, Cardiovascular disease, for more than 10 years and gave up for something else, Lung Cancer Stage IV. We knew it just 2 months prior to his death.
One day he told me,”The works were so stressful, and i was isolated in a factory. There was nothing else i can do to cope but smoking”.
Yes, his bad habit of heavy smoking was started after he worked as an auditor. Sometimes he had to travelled for couple of days or weeks to audit let’s say sugar factory. He often brought his works back home and worked overtime. He couldn’t do heavy activity that was why he always skipped weekly sport hour in the office. He became less and less in doing physical activity. And to make it even worse, he liked fatty food the most. Later on, after i knew a bit about disease. I tried to encourage him to do more exercise and reduce his weight. He stopped smoking few years back, finally.
“You must be happy to see me lose my weight,” He said to me within his last two months.
I had nothing to say in return because i knew we counted down the days. Those all were the inspirations behind my work. My real life experience and i don’t want anybody else has the same story as mine. Proudly, i dedicated my thesis for him.
“I fulfilled my responsibility, father.”
